Sharing some random thoughts on this Monday evening with you.

I currently lack any decent level of “wife material”. I don’t know how some women do it – work the 8-5 and still have time to raise a family. Or straight up be a wife. Kudos to all of you who do it and do it well. You amaze me. After working until 7 PM tonight and checking my mail for the first time in almost a week, I collapsed on my couch as soon as I walked in the door. Not before I poured myself a tall glass of chilled white wine and grabbed a few oreos. Even though I star post after post in my Google reader written by women who are capable of pulling pretty much everything off – working, cooking, decorating, laundry and cleaning all while wearing red lipstick and heels  – and my intentions are always good, the couch and oreos are so much easier. I better start getting my act together if I ever expect to catch and keep a husband because I’m pretty sure they expect a dinner that’s more than wine and cookies. I did, however, put in a load of laundry before pouring the glass of wine. Small steps in the world of wifedom.

I used to hate watching TV by myself. Which is odd when you think about it because TV watching is one of most solitary activities there is. Or can be. But lately I’ve found that I’m actually okay with it. And I’ve even been catching myself laughing out load while subjecting myself to mindless TV like The Bachelorette and Keeping Up with the Kardashians. After a long day at the office, these shows are just what the doctor ordered. Last week while watching Ashley schmooze on  date with one of the few lucky Bachelors I caught myself laughing out loud. Sitting in my living room alone. The same happened a few nights later while I was watching the Kardashian sisters fight over some petty (but pretty significant in their lives) ordeal. And it was so nice, to laugh sitting alone in my apartment.

I have an irrational fear of bed bugs, which I credit to this episode of This American Life (don’t even get my started about the cockroach segment. I’ve had more encounters with those disgusting critters since moving to Texas than I can to recall). I can distinctly remember listening to this episode while at my internship senior year of college and it’s haunted me since. This was prior to all the media hype and infestation of bed bugs in New York City. But since then I have been uber paranoid about the little pests making their way into my home. When I moved I was convinced they would somehow make my couch and love seat their new home somewhere between the old apartment and the new one. I hate the thought of sitting on airplane seats because I picture the little suckers catching a free ride on my clothes and then traveling from my clothes onto my bed. They’re all about catching rides and traveling as far as possible, no matter how unwanted they may be. I flew from Minneapolis to Dallas last night. Which is why I’m washing my bed sheets tonight. Twice. I need to let them know who is boss and that they are not welcome here.